"Liar!"
'Which lie did you catch?'
"Why?"
'I will lie some more accordingly. '

A cup and a saucer

Cup

I will stay right here.
You go live my life now,
I shall watch.
Once you burn out,
I will take your story,
Make it worth reading.
I will take the sad parts,
Romanticize them;
And the joyous days,
I will keep them the same.
And then read it back to myself,
So when I do do live it,
I don't rethink my own deeds,
I don't doubt myself,
I can feel inspired by myself.

Saucer

For once I saw an ad for time travel,
It said 'safety not guaranteed',
And I thought to myself,
When is it ever?

Fallen through the rabbit hole,
I am on the other side.
I talk with my perception of yours,
And my own voices from the past echo.                       
I tell you this is not worth an argument,
But your imaginary answer is either impeccable or truth.

I am a werewolf on a moonlit night,
Bound to howl at faded skies. 
Not the ocean made to tide,
Just a fool to not leap over the rabbit hole.
I have fallen through the rabbit hole.
Yet again.

Gatsby

I felt inspired while watching 'the great gatsby' to get back home and write something. But by the end of the movie, I went through patches of extreme boredom and that killed my muse.

Anyway, I have said this before too. (Some day, some time, some where... ) That I love watching movies (good ones) because they help me disconnect and look at life in retrospect or imagine a future. And while watching Gatsby I realized this unrealistically romantic perspective that film directors love to give to personalities who are different from the crowd. And then a couple in seats ahead of me kissed.

"Work in progress, forever"

Stagnancy and Independence

Need a continuous personal progress. Stagnancy or a rut is going to make you sad and depressed. Keep doing new things that tickle your mind. Meet new people, do new stuff.

You need independence. Depending on others just leads to disappointment.

Travel. Kills both stagnancy and dependence. Take a cheap motel in philly and go photographying.

First Step to Recovery

They say first step to solving a problem is to accept that you have one. And after so many years I believe I can accept that I suffer from depression. I know its not clinical but with a history like mine and mind like mine it is chronic for sure.

Next step is to consciously combat it.

Diagnosis

I found the word: Constipated. That is exactly how I feel when any decision is pending inside my brain. However non urgent the situation be, I cannot tolerate when I cannot make a certain decision. My body's metabolism continues along with involuntary, subconscious, routine activities. But rest all comes to a virtual pause.

This is just the diagnosis of a condition I have just passed through. Cure or prevention is yet to be discovered.